a prayer

It’s 3:30 a.m. I am up with my daughter for what seems to be the third time tonight. I’ve tried rocking her, nursing her; this time I’m stroking the hair from her face and gently rubbing her back – my own back aching as I arch over the crib to reach her. The minutes pass on as I will her to sleep…I think of my phone laying idle back on my nightstand, wishing for something to pass the time.

And then I think of the families I’ve been seeing in the news lately, reading about in countless articles shared by friends. Families in Ferguson, MO. Families in the Middle East. Families in West Africa. The family of our dearest Robin Williams and all those who have lost their loved ones too soon. Families who would give anything to have another moment like this in the quiet of the night with their babies.

The world seems to be crumbling all around me & I feel I a little hopeless. I have no answers. Nothing to offer.

And so I will pray. That is how I will pass this time with my daughter in the middle of the night.

…

This past week, I’ve been meditating on a prayer. I guess it’s kind of a poem/prayer. I started writing it down in my journal & have been struggling to share it all week. Partially because I’ve never had the knack for poetry, and partially because a little voice in the back of my head tells me that prayers are to be private. I was raised to believe that prayer wasn’t something you did loudly in the streets – it was something you did at home in a corner. (I think this is based on a parable – someone help me out here…) But my heart has been heavy this week. I see so much negativity and dissension on the internet – especially amongst Christians – acting as if we can fix everything by SHOUTING across the internet. So I decided to put this poem/prayer out there. I don’t want to add to the noise – I just want you to join me, in prayer.

So here is my prayer, from my little corner of the internet, to yours.

…

Weak at the knees

we come crashing down,

gravel in our palms.

 

Heaven, hear us.

 

Disease and war

leave us searching for

a reason.

 

Heaven, heal us.

 

Our children lie

quiet in the streets;

Oh Father, please.

 

Heaven, help us.

 

We’re just fine –

’till we are not fine,

then we’re grasping for a life-line.

 

Father, forgive us.

 

Quick to judge,

slow to LOVE.

We are self-destructing.

 

Jesus, teach us.

 

Bind up our hearts.

Pull us up, through the dark

Show us a new way out.

 

Heaven, hold us…